Tag Archives: stress

Random Update

No featured blog this week, but I will let you all in on some nonsense.

The blogging tribe idea has gotten a very slow start.  We’re all trying to hold onto our enthusiasm, I think.  My work schedule has included far too many 10-our shifts for my liking, so it’s been hard to really kick things into high gear on my end.  In all straight up honesty, I can’t wait to move back to MA.  Firehouse is draining me of anything that brings me even the faintest bit of joy.

On the up side, I plan to be back in Massachusetts by March.  I’m either taking up bartending or hairdressing, I haven’t decided which, but both look like some measure of fun, even if it’s only to find out I’m terrible at one or both.  I need to keep writing, and that’s been a bit of an issue lately.  I’ve been working at some flash fiction pieces that I’ll share soon, as well as some character creation.  In another realm of things, I’m getting myself situated with making candles and beauty products.  My new shop, The Midnight Magpie, will be open online hopefully within the month.

I know, I’ve got my hands in a lot of different pots right now, but I really need to find some measure of happiness in my life before I go completely insane.

On that note, expect a Flash Fiction piece on Wednesday, featuring a new character.  In fact, the next two weeks will feature brand new characters!    Yay!

Okay, enjoy your Monday.

–KM

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Writing Life: It’s Okay to be Human

Through the Woods

Find your inner "happy place." Image © will wilson *

Writing is an art.  You read, write, research, and observe to hone your craft; work yourself dizzy trying to make every word in every sentence in every paragraph just perfect.  We toil, we cry, we let our index fingers hover threateningly over the “delete” key, after an angry ctrl+a….  But we recoil, and we do because, no matter how much we cry, we still love what we do.  I’m here today to tell you:

It’s okay to be human.

We all have lives, jobs, and families that continue buzzing about as we sit with our backs to the world, trying to allot our novel some love before the high-pitched screaming toddler in the background will eventually require a diaper change.  We love our novels, but it’s okay to love the rest of our lives, too, because, I repeat:

It’s okay to be human.

Our pets need feeding, our spouses need reassuring, our bills need paying, our lives need livingWriting is important to you, and you want to do it well.  Everyone will tell you that you need to write to improve your craft.  You need to write and read and research and write some more– and they’re right!  But you’ll never improve your writing with your face on your keyboard in a puddle of your own tears, sobbing over those four pages your child lost when she gave the keyboard a swat.

Go to your happy place.  If you have to sacrifice ten minutes of writing for your own mental health and inner quiet, would you really consider that a set back?  Your writing will improve when your state of mind improves.  I don’t know about you, but the more stressed I get, the worse I feel, the less likely I am to write anything worthwhile.  I forget to eat, my brain stops functioning, I get dizzy and irritable and prone to tears and rude outbursts.  Take a breath.  Take a walk.  Read something for fun instead of for the sake of picking apart storytelling strategy.  Have a glass of water to rehydrate yourself.  Remember:

It’s okay to be human.

How can you create humanity in your writing if you don’t allow a bit for yourself?

 

How do you deal with stress?  Do you have a “happy place” or a de-stressing routine?  How do you find silence in your every day life?

 

Flickr Photo: Will Wilson

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Filed under Writing, Writing Life

The Back Burner

Every writer faces it: The Back Burner.  Sometimes life gets in the way, we realize that income and survival are more important that creativity, that passion is wasted on the young.  Our writing gets shifted to the back burner.  Eventually, we forget about it.  We tell people, “I love writing!” but the truth is, we haven’t hit the keys in months.  We say “I’ll be published one day,” but “one day” slips further and further away with every day we fail to write.

And our writing is forgotten.

My 26th birthday passed and I don’t have a finished manuscript like I promised myself.  Life got in the way, job hunting took precedence over hammering out my writing, being broke sucked the passion out of me.

I still love writing.  Or, rather, I love the idea of writing.  Truth is… I hate what I’ve been trying to put on paper.  I hate that I can’t do what I need to do to get my writing back to what it used to be.  I hate the back burner.  I hate adulthood.  I hate that the world doesn’t turn without back-breaking labor and copious sums of cash.

I hate that the spark is gone… but what I hate most is that I’ve finally recognized that the spark is gone.  I want to rekindle it.  I want to be a writer and make my worlds turn with words and phrases.  I want that pile of notebooks stacked neatly under my bed to be useful again.  I want carrying a pen in my purse to mean more than “Just in case I need to jot a quick shopping list.”  I want to be who I was three months ago.

And this is mostly just me whining.  I’ve done a hell of a lot of that on this blog in the last several months, but I’m not going to apologize for it.  No one has to read it, but I do have to get this out.  My blog is my very neglected outlet.

So, here’s to hoping the disenchantment passes.

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Big changes…

So, yesterday was pretty solidly the worst day of the year.

My mother went on vacation for four days on Wednesday, and was scheduled to come back on Sunday.  She called last night and said she didn’t have any intention of coming home.

Fantastic, right?

That leaves me, my sister, and my nephew with an apartment we can’t afford and no way to pay the rent this month.  Out-motherfucking-standing.  Best day of my life, right there.

***Advice:  Don’t share an apartment with unreliable family members, people, even if they’re your mother.  ~_~***

So, after many shouting matches, tears, and urges to break things, I’m looking for a home for my Jack Russell and moving to Florida to stay with my father until I get on my feet.  It’s a shitty situation, since I pretty much hate Florida, and I really love my dog, but life goes on, I suppose.

This is my last night off before I start packing the few things I can take with me, schedule a UPS pick up, and try to find a ride to the airport next week.  I know my blog has been suffering anyway, but… just a little longer and I’ll be back.

Promise.

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Steampunk Tales and Kit’s Busy-ness.

WELL WELL WELL!  I suppose I should update you guys, since my posts haven’t been very quality-oriented lately.  I do apologize, and I apologize even harder for sporadic/lack of comments to all of your blogs.  I have NOT stopped reading, or stopped loving you guys.  I’m just swamped to hell and back.

Here’s my list of crap I’m trying to accomplish:

1.  Job hunting. This might kill me.  I’ll keep you posted.  I’m poor and sad and ready to shankabitch.

2.  Ossuarium. I know I owe you guys chapter 4.  I am working on it, though I’m also considering taking it down after I let everyone read chapter 5.  Following Mckenzie’s lead, since I also intend to get this published.  I appreciate everyone’s feedback thus far, and if you want to keep reading through chapter 5, you’re welcome to.  =]

3.  My initial WiP. Which is not going anywhere right now.  I need to get back into gear with that one.  I may put it aside for a few months.

4.  NaNoWriMo. November approacheth.  I’m working on a vague outline for my NaNo project, just so I can fuck about in October without worrying I’m wasting time.

5.  Submission for Steampunk Tales. Hoping to have this short story done and submitted by the end of the week.  Working my ass off on it.

This list isn’t in any particular order, since certain things take priority at certain times, usually with job hunting always sitting pretty at the top.  I’ve also gotten back into reading comic books with the 13 issue run of Quicksilver and the House of M series.

Busy, busy, busy.  I’ll attempt to keep you kids updated, but I’ll probably continue my sporadic and random postings in between. <3

I LOVE YOU ALL!

<3 Kit.

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Filed under Life, Writing

Shedding Skin & Starting Over

Prompted by a thread started over at PaganSpace, I got thinking about the possibility of starting over.

Not just a new blog, new screen names, new Facebook, but a whole new life.

Have you ever had the urge to just drop everything, pick up what’s precious to you, and run away?  Start over somewhere fresh, where no one knows you, no one has ties to you, and your former life as ‘nobody’ doesn’t apply?

Have you ever felt like you were playing an extra in the film of you own life?

I have to say that I absolutely have felt that way on a multitude of occasions.  Sometimes life isn’t what you expected it to be.  Things didn’t turn out the way they were supposed to when you planned them.  Sometimes, the only logical thing to do is to just leave, and try again where you don’t have the stigma of who people think you are hanging over your head.

It’s not logical, obviously.  We have families and lovers and friends and jobs and pets.

But if you wouldn’t hurt anyone by leaving, would you?  Would you start a new life somewhere else, where you could be someone else?

I would.  Hell, maybe when I’m not poor anymore, I will.  Who knows.

Anyway, just some food for thought.  <3

Maybe someday, I’ll actually write about writing again.

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Be Gentle with One Another

I’d like to share a post I read over at Sacred Mists, entitled Be Gentle With One Another.  A list of affirmations.

1. Never jump to conclusions.

2. Always give the benefit of the doubt.

3. Make constructive criticism the only criticism you will give.

4. Always give a second chance.

5. Find forgiveness in your heart, no matter the issue.

6. Recognize that everyone makes mistakes, even yourself.

7. Always treat others how you wish to be treated.

8. Never forget to place yourself in the other person’s shoes, even if just for a moment.

9. Recognize that we all carry baggage. Don’t make yours someone else’s.

10. Recognize that we have all come to Mother Earth to learn our life lessons. You can choose to help those who are learning, or reject them when their lessons become hard to deal with.

11. Always give importance to yourself in every situation, but not so much that it removes compassion and understanding.

12. Open yourself to the love and harmony that is offered within your spiritual path.

13. Remove yourself from any place or person where you find yourself incapable of being loving and nurturing, but always recognize that it is your issue and not their own.

14. No one can do anything to you that you do not allow them to do, consciously or subconsciously.

15. We are all complete with perfection and faults that balance us into imperfect beings.

16. To dislike, hate, or otherwise reject one whom you feel wronged by is to reject your own ability to learn lessons that are being presented to you.

17. Be a positive influence.

18. The old adage, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” holds true in all group settings, at a minimum. Create a “safe haven” experience wherever you are. Be a part of holding that philosophy in every interaction.

19. Love. Simply love. Yourself, and others.

20. Be the change you want to see in the world.

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Filed under Life, Paganism

Buckling Down

I know, I’ve been slacking on my posts lately.  As most of you can probably gather from my Apology to Myself, I’ve had some personal hurtles to overcome, and the last few days, I’ve been working really hard on ways to improve how I approach my day-to-day.

I have two stories in my head, hammering to get out, and I just haven’t been able to bring myself to write them.  I’ve been whiny and unmotivated, BUT… I’m fixing it.  Z and Gage are sitting on the back burner, simmering a little, and my weekly update-y storyline is almost done being plotted out.  I think that I should have the first installment up within the week (and I apologize for the delay.  Motivation hates me).

I’m taking the next three days off from frantically shoving my resume at people.  It’s stressing me out, and I deserve a few days to breathe and relax and take in the warm weather.  You know, before my head explodes.

SO!  In the next week, my posts will pop up as follows:

  1. Write what you don’t know.  (A counter post to Miss Rosemary’s Write What You Know… though it’s really more of an addendum.)
  2. Brew Your Muse!  Random places for percolating ideas.
  3. Soundtrack for a WiP?  Do you have one?

Toss in installment one of weekly project somewhere in there, as well as allowing room for a few brain-explosions of randomness.  I’m trying to get back on track!

Don’t stop reading!  Ilyguys!

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Filed under Life, Uncategorized, Writing

New Projects and the Commonwealth of Massachusetts

So, I mentioned in my FFT post that I was planning a new on-going project, just to kill time and keep my brain from exploding.  I love my WiP, and writing Z, Gage, and Periss is hilarious and amazing, but I’ve been getting the itch for something new.  I do that so often, it’s retarded.  I have fiction ADD.  I think I need a support group.

Anyway, I’ve decided on a fantasy theme, a blend of modern America and kind of an Alexander the Great-era Middle East.  I don’t know quite how I’m going to pull it off yet, but I’m working on it.

And names.  I used to love naming characters, now I friggin’ hate it.  It was my favorite part, and somehow it’s gotten to be a part of the process that makes me beat my head against my desk.  I have three characters that need names, and I’m dreading it.

I do have a basic plot outline, though.  I’ll flesh it out a little more tomorrow, and I’ll steal a little freedom from my main WiP for awhile.

On a weird side note… everyone in my state is a jerk.  I read things about other people, and their experiences on their blogs or Facebook accounts, or… you know, whatever… and I’m like “WOW, that would not fly in Massachusetts!”  People are such raging douche bags here.  I mean, I’m an asshole to the core.  No joke.  But I SMILE at people in public, because it’s a courteous thing to do.  I hold doors for people, because I know I feel all “Kit SMASH!” when I’m inches behind someone and a door shuts in my face.

Common.  Courtesy.  Seriously.  Who raised these people?

There’s a time and a place to be an asshole.  It’s usually with my friends… who are equally brutal, sarcastic, and all-around-dicks.  We mesh well.  But I can conduct myself in public!  Why can’t the rest of the people in this Hell-washed state?

Pft.  Rant over.  Had to get that out of my system.  Thanks.  <3

***Also, to clarify, I don’t think I’m better than anyone.  The opposite is actually true.  I can genuinely behave like a bad person, and I know that most people are NOT bad people.  Why do they act like they are?  That’s all I’m getting at.***

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Filed under Life, Writing

So this is what going mad feels like…

A soothing picture of a tree... to make my brain stop melting.

Not that that picture is working out for me.  It’s a pretty tree by a bank, though.  I wonder how many random pictures I have on my camera just from my many pointless trips around town…?

Anyway, I’m moving this weekend, to Southbridge, MA. So much for attempting to move up in the world.  I suppose I should stop complaining seeing as we’re moving because the apartment building we’re living in now was condemned and deemed unfit for human habitation by the health department.  That’s FANTASTIC, really.  All of our windows have ceased to function, our kitchen and laundry room ceilings have caved in and flooded those rooms with yellow water, our living room has a leak in the ceiling, and there’s lead paint that was supposed to have been removed before my very adorable nephew was born.  The front hall is our land lord’s storage closet, so that’s deemed a fire hazard.  Our front AND back doors don’t fit on their frames.  The floors are separating from the walls. OH THE LIST GOES ON!

At least the new place is livable, even if it’s in a pretty sketchy area (no matter how historically idyllic the town website tries to make it look).

I live in the apartment complex behind this library. Thank the gods for decent placement, huh?

This move may take me away from the internet (and subsequently Goggles & Lace) for a week or so, though I’m hoping that isn’t the case.  I’m something of an internet junkie, so I can generally find some means of getting my fix.

Wish me luck!  I shall miss you all!  =[

Love,

Kit~

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